I Talk to Myself

I talk to myself.

Before you ask me to step away from the sharp objects on my desk, you do too!

See? You are doing it right now.

All day long we have an internal dialog going on that, most of the time, we are unaware of. But it’s to be expected. After twelve years of school beating you down so that you can get a good job and work for the Man, and eighteen years of your parents telling you to get them a beer and then sit down and shut up because they’re trying to watch the Redskins, you’re going to end up muttering… er… talking to yourself.

Wow. I think I’m digging my own grave here. Let me try this again.

Hmmm…

I’m a realist… which, I guess, really makes me a pessimist. If something bad can happen, it will‚ especially to me.

I’ve read that the average child is told “no” or something negative 149,000 times before he becomes an adult. Compare that to the few times we’re told we can do something in the positive. (And no, mom saying, “I’m positive that you’re going to grow up to be a big fat lazy drunken idiot like your father,” isn’t positive even though it uses the word!)

Which leads me in a roundabout way to the point of this entire post: a book a friend gave me. And believe me, I’m not a “let’s hold hands and sing Kumbaya” type of guy but strangely, this book hit home with me. The book is entitled, “What To Say When You Talk To Your Self“ by Shad Helmstetter.

Not long ago there was a teacher on 60 Minutes and he was showing young students shortcuts and advanced math tricks. These kids were adding and subtracting numbers quicker than the journalist could type them into her calculator. She asked if he could teach anyone these tricks and he said, “Yes, but adults are harder to teach because they are afraid to fail.”

Many people don’t do things in life because they are afraid of failing.

“Why diet? I’ve tried it before. I’m just going to give in after a few weeks and then I’ll gain all the weight back… plus I’ll gain an extra ten pounds on my already fat ass!”

This book helps you reprogram your inner voice so that instead of undermining you (“Boy, that fried Snickers bar sure would taste good right now, wouldn’t it?”) it will support you (“You’re super duper, Brian! Keep it up!”).

There are scripts for losing weight, quitting smoking, gaining self-confidence and much more.

The theory behind the book is as follows:

1. Programming creates beliefs.
2. Beliefs create attitudes.
3. Attitudes create feelings.
4. Feelings determine actions.
5. Actions create results.

The book says to write a specific set of positive self-talk affirmations and read them aloud to my subconscious mind three or four times a day for three weeks. After three weeks of looking and sounding like a Flower Child I could notice an “alarming impact” on my old patterns. It’s like lion taming the subconscious. (Bad, brain! Bad!)

Here are some examples from the book:

• “What I eat, and the goals I reach, are up to me. And I give no one the right to hinder or control my success.”
• “Controlling my weight, and my appetite, is easy for me now. I enjoy smaller portions, smaller bites, and a slower, healthier, more relaxed way of eating.”
• “I am never, at any time, tempted to take one bite more that I should. I am strong, I am capable of reaching my own goal, and I am doing it!”

Gosh, I have a sudden urge to move to Sedona and listen to Yanni music!

Ack!

Quick, get me my topaz and crystals, I think I’m bonding with Mother Earth!