The Life of Brian

Brian Robinson on Health, Nutrition and Life

Where a Kid Can be a @#$!% Kid!

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Chuck E. Cheese

The other night I am sitting in a Chuck E. Cheese with my nephew and family. And in comes the family from hell.

Chuck E. Cheese (Normal)The overweight and unkempt mother, who looks suspiciously like Jabba the Hut, gets two steps into the restaurant before her six kids run screaming and punching… and quickly scatter into different areas of the restaurant. Mom orders her pizza and, of course, grabs a table right in the middle of everyone.

One of the younger boys, who must be a graduate of the Donald Trump Charm School, proceeds to steal game tickets from his siblings… and then from strangers.

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One Day in Ensenada…

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Beer

I was thinking about beer tonight. Well, I wasn’t until the football game came on and after the 67th beer ad came on, I started thinking about beer.

Back in the late eighties my friend and I used to go down to Ensenada and buy a case of Coronas for $4 bucks have to leave a deposit of $5 bucks for the glass (yes, the beer cost more than the bottles!). Then Groupo Modelo invented Cinco de Mayo for the gringos and showed beautiful ocean views of picturesque beaches and everything changed. Now Corona is the fourth best selling beer in the world.

Until those ads aired everyone thought that if you drank a few Budweisers eventually you’d make Corona. After those ads Corona became a “premium” beer and the domestic price for a six pack rose from $3.99 to $7.99 in just a few years.

¡Ay, caramba!

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I’m Rattling!

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Pills

Have you been into a health food store recently? I was in one this morning and I was the fattest guy in the store. That’s what I like about traveling to places like Chicago. I’m thin over there.

The store by my house is run by these thin shaky people. Not quite hippies and not quite meth-heads. I think they live on Red Bulls and Dexatrim.

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I Broke My Scale!

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Bathroom Scale

My scale is broken. This isn’t a joke, it really is broken!

It’s not that I am so heavy that I popped a spring or crushed a sensor… it’s that the stinking battery is dead!

I stood on the scale this morning and it flashed all sorts of funny things. When I flipped it over to change the battery, I discovered that there wasn’t a battery to be replaced. The battery was permanently hardwired and encased inside of the metal underbelly of the scale. So in other words, I have to buy a new scale instead of a new battery.

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