Feb
2
Where A Kid Can Be A @#$!% Kid!
February 2, 2007 in Life of Brian
The other night I am sitting in Chuck E. Cheese’s—a food joint with a rodent as its mascot?!—with my nephew and family. And in comes the family from hell.
Six kids run screaming from the mother’s sphere of influence and each scatter into a different area of the restaurant (can Chuck’s really be called a restaurant?). Mom orders her pizza and, of course, grabs a table right in the middle of everyone.
One of the younger boys has all the couth and grace of Mike Tyson before jail and proceeds to steal game tickets from his siblings and then from strangers.
Within seconds there are four kids crying, at least six kids screaming, and one adult (me) steaming.
The kid then runs over to someone’s table and sticks his finger in the side of their birthday cake and licks it off.
(Mental note: Do not go to Chuck E. Cheese’s if you’ve had a bad day at the office.)
I get up and walk over to the mother who is blind to all of this. “Excuse me ma’am, but your cute little bastard is stealing tickets from other kids and just put his finger into another family’s birthday cake.”
She replies, “He’s only four! That’s what kids do at his age!”
Meanwhile, before I have a chance to do something that would land me in jail, Mr. Cheese himself (a guy in a costume) goes over to Damieon and tries to settle him down by dancing in front of him.
The kid gets scared and punches Chuck in the stomach… actually, a bit lower than the stomach. Chuck falls over and is laying in the fetal position on the ground. Then two kids jump on him thinking he is playing.
After a few seconds of 180-proof chaos, a manager goes running over and tries to regain order. He pulls the kids off Chuck and helps him to his feet. By now, Mr. Cheese is noticeably woozy and takes a seat at one of the nearby tables.
The kid who started it all runs back over to hide by his mother. The manager spots her and she spots him. Before he can confront her she dashes off to the bathroom and hides out in there.
My nephew, meanwhile, has a handful of tickets he won from some of the arcade games. We make our way over to the redemption center where he claims a plastic lizard and a spy ring that must have cost ol’ Chuck all of $0.08. It cost me almost $20.
Sigh.
The lady is still in the bathroom as we are about to leave.
On the way out I notice some of the merchandise I could purchase to remember our evening together.
The shirt in the image at the very top of this post is pretty nice and surprisingly inexpensive. But I don’t know about you, if I saw a 4-year-old wearing the shirt below, I’d strongly suggest that his parents toss out his Bob Marley music and get him into rehab.
How many drugs
Could a drugged Chuck chuck
If a drugged Chuck
Could chuck drugs?
Dear God, who is in charge of their marketing?!
By the way, did you know that Chuck E. Cheese was started by Nolan Bushnell, the same guy who started Atari?
Tags: Atari, Chuck E. Cheese, Marketing, Nolan Bushnell
Comments
1 Comment so far
Want More Tips?
Like what you see? (Sheesh! You're easy to please!) Then subscribe to my list and get all this and more!
Highly Recommended
- SEO Backlinks—how to consistently average over 15,000 visitors to your websites per day.
- Domain Manager—trouble being a master of all your domains?
- Traffic Words—discover a website traffic machine that generates visitors for weeks, months or even years without spending a dime.
- Discover Secret Keywords—find the exact words to earn an extra $8,265 from Google Adwords.
- Generate Unique Articles—improve the effectiveness of your website promotion by over 1875% while saving valuable time—guaranteed!
- Spank Your Competition—this top secret underground tracking and testing tool helps improves your existing site by 100%!
- Make Sense of Adsense—discover this step-by-step blueprint for making $19,156 per month.
- Push Button Headlines—test and create high-converting headlines with the push of a button.
It’s no wonder why McDonald’s is so much more popular than Chucky’s! They have a clown and Playland and Chucky’s has a rat and cheesy (no pun intended) arcade games!