Feb

8

Lyle’s Steakhouse, Part V

February 8, 2007 in Life of Brian | 1 Comment

The next day we tempt fate. Figuring we’re in Vegas, we try our luck again, and make our way over to the cafe. This time we are joined for lunch by Paul’s wife, Kathy.

Luckily, a day earlier I told Jim and Paul about the rooms at Atrium Suites. Two days ago they wouldn’t have believed me and now they were in this with me. “Welcome to my world!” I said.

We sit down at our regular table and we are handed the nice menus again. “Uh, can we actually order off of these menus today or are they reserved for another lot?” asks Paul.

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Feb

7

Lyle’s Steakhouse, Part IV

February 7, 2007 in Life of Brian | Leave a Comment

Back at the internet marketing conference one speaker after another spoke about customer service, building relationships with your customers, and getting referrals. And as a cosmic juxtaposition of contrasting business models, just fifty feet away is the Atrium Cafe.

Jim Lodwig and I run into Paul Forcey and invite him to lunch at the cafe. We’re given paper menus and I order tuna again, Paul orders a cheeseburger and Jim orders another club. When the bill comes, it’s for $30 or so and I give the waitress two twenties. “Would you like change?” she asks thinking she must be the head waitress at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse and I’m a drunk shoe salesman ready to be rolled. “Yes, please,” I respond as I probably rolled my eyes.

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Feb

6

Lyle’s Steakhouse, Part III

February 6, 2007 in Life of Brian | Leave a Comment

So the manager of Lyle’s Steakhouse, er, Atrium Suites calls for assistance. I can barely her speak into her walkie-talkie… “Psss psss psss angry psss psss psss pain psss psss psss in the psss psss psss. Hurry! Psss, psss psss.”

Someone will be right with you, sir.

The assistant turned out to be in the maintenance department. “What’s wrong with your room?” he asks and I lead him upstairs.

“I don’t smell anything,” he said with watering eyes and while holding his breath. “It… smells… fine… to… me! Gasp!”

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Feb

5

Lyle’s Steakhouse, Part II

February 5, 2007 in Life of Brian | Leave a Comment

It all started two months ago when I tried to book a room at Atrium Suites in Las Vegas. I was going there to attend an internet marketing conference hosted by Carl Galletti.

I logged onto their website and it said that they were out of rooms.

Since I had never heard of Atrium Suites and I have been going to Vegas since 1990, I figured that something was wrong with their registration system. There was NO WAY they could have been so popular as to be booked solid two months in advance.

Sure enough, a quick call to the switchboard confirms my suspicion. They had plenty of rooms. Enough to hold a conference there.

Pshaw!

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Feb

4

Lyle’s Steakhouse, Part I

February 4, 2007 in Life of Brian | Leave a Comment

When I was young my father used to take us to Lyle’s Steakhouse just outside of Oxon Hill, Maryland. I think Lyle simply liked the term “steakhouse” because he really didn’t go to any effort to serve up steak or anything edible in all the years we went there.

Lyle’s was really just a seedy bar on the edge of town that catered to alcoholic government workers, suicidal divorcees and Kirby vacuum salesmen.

Lyle’s was lit by a single grease covered 25 watt bulb that hung from an even greasier dust covered electrical cord. No lamps, no shades, no switches. Just the sticky black plastic peg that stuck out above the bulb. Click on, click off.

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